Tuesday, August 16, 2011


So after starting this venture into "coming out" to the online community complete with videos, pictures, and dates.. the most asked question I've gotten is simple: "So.. how does your open relationship work, how open are you?"

Apparently, most open couples, or at least the ones I've talked to and heard about, establish rules and boundaries?  I'm not trying to imply that these don't exist for me and Mike, but.. in a way they don't.  I figured that the entire purpose of opening the relationship was trust and to experience things outside of our relationship to enhance said relationship.

Let me give you some examples:
Some women have a rule that their men are only allowed to sleep with other women that are not as hot as they are.
I really don't see the point in this.  There is no way I would ever delude myself into thinking that I'm the hottest thing on the planet.  If my man only slept with ugly women then really, what would the point be other than the simple "something different"?  I want him to sleep with women that are more attractive than myself.  More to the point: I want him to experience life completely and do/fuck whatever makes him happy.  If attraction level meant everything then he'd leave me for a hottie anyway.  Besides, I don't care how hot they are, I give the best blowjobs on the planet.

Sometimes there is a rule like, "no dating, just sex".
That just feels skeezy.  Also the best way to get an STD.  I don't want to just fuck the guys I see, I want to be able to hang out with them, have a few laughs, and get to know them.  As far as Mike goes, well I honestly wouldn't want him to fuck any women that don't need a little romancing to get into their pants.  Then I know he'd be getting some sort of disease.  I want him to be friends with his women.  Or at least for them to know each other more than nakedly.

Do my feelings and reasons mean that I never feel jealousy?  No.  I'm a woman.  Women are irrational, emotional, bitchy, illogical, etc.  Sometimes I feel jealous, but I talk to Mike about it, he explains himself or his feelings, and then everything is fine.  In the end, it's not what he does with other people, it's the implied feelings behind his actions that sometimes makes me jealous.  Men are different than women though, they were brought up being told to romance their way into sex, women were brought up knowing all they have to do is spread their legs.

You know that great feeling when you first start dating someone?  The little gestures mean so much, you get/give flowers to make the other person feel special.  People aren't blunt when dating and trying to get laid.  Both sexes imply things that aren't true, or things that they only think are true.  Flowers do not equal love, and actually nothing a guy does action-wise means love unless he flat out says, "I love you."  Dating is like playing house as children, acting to inspire shallow feelings.  I know that Mike would never tell another women he loves her before talking to me about it.  He would buy them flowers.. but you know what?  He loves me and buys me flowers more than he ever did before we were open.  Not because he feels guilty, simply because doing little things for other people reminds him that I like it too and he loves me.

I have/am learning to not overthink actions and what happens with other people as we enter this new territory.  I know that even if he does something romantic for another person it doesn't mean anything more than that he wants them to feel good, which I don't have a problem with.  I don't feel the need to read his messages or oversee his relationships, I trust him to tell me about anything that he considers important.  Also.. I've come to learn that men have some irrational attachments to "romantic" actions as well, which I think is hilarious.

Here are things he thinks are romantic that I do not.. seeing as it comes so naturally to me:
Pet names like sweetie, hun, baby
Taking naps with other people
Giving massages
Kissing without tongue
Kissing on the forehead
Hugs from behind while they're sitting somewhere

I didn't think twice about some of these until he brought up how he felt about it.  Even though he knows I don't have any feelings for any other man deeper than friendship and companionship it would still bother him.  So I don't do them.  Some of them anyway, because he has come to realize how little some of them mean after feeling the desire to do a couple himself with other woman.  Talking mostly about the pet name thing.

Like any other relationship, communication is key.

We don't really have any rules.  We both know what would bother each of us, but at the same time we also acknowledge that no one can control or monitor this kind of stuff without going crazy.  Just trust each other and love each other.  That way if something happens that the other person may not like it doesn't seem as big of a deal, and is in no way a deal-breaker.  Which makes being honest a helluva lot easier.  It seems silly to have rules and boundaries when the goal is to "open" a relationship.

I may do more posts later to go into more detail, maybe describe some fights we've had or issues, but it's really difficult to put into words what we feel for each other.

Bonus:  motivation to keep yourself fit and looking good, both of us take good care of ourselves knowing we have to impress others outside the relationship.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Sex Injury: Chomped Tits

Mike complained recently that I didn't get on top during sex often enough.. I realized he was correct.  In my defense though, we both prefer doggie style and blowjobs.

So the other night I decided my breasts looked amazing and I wanted to shove them in his face so I climbed on up.

He loved it, obviously.  He smacked em, bit em, and sucked em while I rode him to about 6 orgasms.  Then of course I jumped off and sucked my juices off his cock and his cum down my throat.

Normally I wouldn't post such an ordinary sexual experience.. except that the bruising and hickey-like marking I noticed when I woke up is pretty spectacular.  The fact that I'm so fair-skinned doesn't help.

Either way it's amazing and makes me laugh.  It also doesn't really hurt, not too many nerve endings in that part of my breast.

To Shave or Not To Shave? What I prefer when going down.

First, let me just say that this entire post was inspired by a Dude Society poll - Chick Poll:Manscaping.  Now as shown in this poll apparently most women voted to leave some hair but trim it down.  They didn't really specify location or length though did they?  I mean, all hair growth is different and a style that works on one guy definitely doesn't work on all.

Now let me just state that my overall preference on any man is probably bare shaven.  Of course, ingrown hairs are unattractive so this assumes the guy in question has been doing it long enough to become accustomed to it.  I figured men might want to know, specifically, the problems with hair down there from a girl who goes down a lot.

Small cock? Shave it all.. it will look bigger.

Now here are some general rules I tell my guys about:
1)  Hair Smells.
That's right, hair retains smell and dirt like nothing else.  Even one day of sweat can stink up a body area if you have lots of hair there.  If you want someone sticking their face down there you'll have a lot less to worry about if you're shaven (that goes for women too).  I have a stupid sensitive nose and yeah, it can bother me.  And guys, please make sure to take a shower after shaving, loose, recently cut, hair that gets in my mouth will turn me off.
2)  Hair is in no way Fair.
Unfortunately, the hair type that is the easiest to keep unshaven is also one of the only hair/body types to look most natural once shaven.  Sparse, light-colored, or just thin hair doesn't really retain smell or bother the senses as much as the thicker brillo bushes.  So guys with pubicLite can go without maintenance.  It also looks weird for a yeti to have that one bald spot in the middle of his forest.  Not really any help for it.
3)  The Pole is Important.
Seriously, shave your cock.  That is the one area that, I don't care if you like hairy guys, if you like sucking cock you don't want to feel those stray hairs in your mouth while gliding up and down the shaft.  Always try to keep this area bare.  Some guys have naturally hairless cocks, so you guys shut up and just trust me when I tell you that not all men do.
4)  If not Bare than Buzz.
Don't want to shave your cock and bikini area bare? Have a fear of razors? That's FINE.  At least take a beard trimmer and shave it down short though.  It will cut down on aroma.  Not too short, stubble doesn't really feel that great when riding, humping, sucking, etc.  I'd say about 1/4 of an inch though.  Of course this length will change, and all men should experiment.  Basically your goal is to shorten as much as you can before the hair starts feeling really rough on the skin.  You can always combine, shave your balls and cock then buzz the rest, it will give it a more natural flow into your upper leg hair if you have any.
5)  Feel free to go front to back.
I just have to include this.  If you like having your ass played with AT ALL, please, please shave it.  No, I don't mean the cheeks, I mean get down there in your ass crack and get rid of those hairs.  Shave your hole.  Do your taint too while you're at it.  As I've stated many times, hair retains smell BADLY.  And sir, that area's stink wont come off without a good bleaching.
6)  If you want your balls sucked, shave them.
No explanation needed, right?

Easy and simple rules that some guys may not be aware of.  Also, if you need shaving tricks the Dude Society also has one on Manscaping Downtown!

Thank you, have a great Friday!

Thursday, August 11, 2011


So this last week I started my first rounds with the completely free dating site, OkCupid.  So let me walk you through the process of using this website.

First, create a profile, they have an essay page where they give you some questions and you answer them.  Pretty normal stuff.  General bio, interests, six things you could never live without, etc.  The fun part about OkC is that you can answer all these questions in a multiple choice rating way, and also what you would want your match to answer, and based on the answers you "match up" with other people.  Me and Mike are a 99% love match as it turns out!

They also have tests you can take like, "how big of a slut are you?", and the all important "Details" section where you specify height, body type, religion, etc.  Fun stuff.

Of course I'm not the only person in an open relationship on this site, as it turns out there are many couples on OkC.  I certainly put that I was in an open relationship in my general bio.. and I noticed that my bio isn't as long as most people's.  Maybe because I'm not looking for a love match?  Really the only reason I decided to use the site was to find people I can hang out with and fuck.  True friends with benefits.

I did, however, make a few mistakes when creating my dating profile.

Mistake #1:  I said I was looking for casual sex, which I'm not, so I clearly didn't think that through.
Mistake #2:  In the section, "Things you do well", I had one thing listed.  Oral sex.
Mistake #3:  I didn't specify clearly enough who should message me in the "Message me if" section, all I said was that you had to be ok with open relationships at first.

Add all these things together and you get a plethora of responses from the most skeezy online daters.  Several messages from men from other countries just looking for cybersex, and many asking me to get on a webcam for them.
One person messaged me with only one line of, "you ever fuck a black man?"
How do these men expect me to answer? Obviously they are all fucktards and didn't actually read my profile.. or are too stupid to realize I wouldn't be interested in that.

After fixing these little mistakes, for example I now have in my "Message me if" section "Please be semi-intelligent as I find that fucking too far beneath my own IQ is too much like bestiality and I'm not into farm animals."  My edited profile cut down on the sex-crazed spam quite a bit but I still get at least a couple guys a day looking for a quick fix.

Among the idiotic tools there are a few gems to be found though.  Several men I've talked to seem to know exactly what I'm looking for or at least know how to sound like they do.  I'm being pretty open minded, but after chatting with a few men.. I've already ruled a few out due to simple neediness.  I have 10 unread text messages on my phone right now because I really don't feel like reading any of them.

The ones that are going to get replies are the ones who sent one, maybe two, messages and stopped.

Mr. Divorced has sent me 10 since our date on Tuesday.  Oh yes, I had a date, my first from OkC.  I decided to low-ball myself and have a guaranteed good time by picking the not as attractive, but still fit, divorced older man to take me out.  It worked.  We had a great time, had some beer, grabbed some pizza.  He's in the same industry as me so we had plenty to talk about.  The only thing that put a glitch in the night was him "not wanting to fuck but simply smell my sex".  For Fucks Sake.  I figured it was the booze and let it go, kissed him, and left.  When I got home he had already texted me twice. Three more as I was sleeping and having sex with Mike.  If he can abstain from texting me today I may let him take me out again.  If not I will politely reply saying I had a great time but I feel that he's being too needy.

As it stands.. I'm having a hard time talking to all these different guys, keeping them entertained and interested in me.  Let alone trying to reply to messages actually on OkC.  My new plan is to NOT care about hurting feelings and ignore any message I want.  Something I had not yet done.. as I like giving anyone a chance that deserves it.

Calm down Jessica, you don't have reply to the texts if you don't want to.. breathe.. FML.
Going out for drinks tonight on date #2.
Great thing about being in an open relationship? I don't give a fuck if men don't like me.. I couldn't care less.  Either way I'm coming home to a husband that loves me and only me.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

A Blowjob That Hurt

While still exploring our new sexual sides, me and Mike have taken a bit of a break compared to the fast pace we originally set in regards to bringing people into our sex life.  He recently started his own blog, and we both realized that while new people are fun, neither of us are the type that enjoys random stranger sex.  I like being able to have conversations with with I fuck.  I still suck and fuck Tristan and Dave pretty regularly, but I'm waiting on looking for anything else until we find a nice piece of pussy for Mike to enjoy.

So we're branching out onto the dating websites like OkCupid looking for compatible sex partners since it's free and we both like the idea of friends with benefits.

I will start posting our success and failures as soon as I deem them worthy, and until then I thought it would be fun to share a couple really epic sex injury stories - but only one today.

Longest Blowjob of My Life:  (originally told to Maxwell)

Ok, so about 4 years ago I had a blowjob buddy that lived about 40 minutes away from myself.  I'll call him Mr. Valium(explanation incoming).  The way we worked is every few days, or at least once a week, I would drive all the way to his house with an 18-pack in hand.  We would chat, hang out, maybe play a little guitar hero until eventually I got on my knees and gave him a great blowjob.  He would smile, I would thank him, and then I'd leave.

One night when I got there, however, he had just seen a doctor for back pain and was heavily medicated on Valium.  It didn't seem like a big deal at the time and neither one of us thought it was a big deal for him to be drinking while so medicated.

...It wasn't until about thirty minutes into the blowjob, a little while later, that it occurred to me that beer and Valium might not be the best mix for someone wanting to get their cock sucked...

Of course this thought just made me more determined to give him an amazing blowjob and get him off, he was enjoying it, and I figured it would just feel that much better for him when he finally did cum.  So I kept blowing  away.

Keep in mind that I was pretty smashed at the time and wasn't very aware of pain or discomfort, I couldn't even feel my knees.  After an hour of working his cock over I did notice that my knees were really red and starting to bleed.  So I wisely decided I needed some cushioning and took a five minute breather to get myself comfortable again and down a couple more beers before going back down to keep blowing and sucking my way into the drunken blowjob hall of fame.

Luckily, about the time I was starting to sober up.. pain was intruding ever so slightly upon my awareness.. when I finally have the bright idea to make him do some work and fuck my face to get himself off.  At this point the blowjob had lasted for two whole fucking hours, and it only took him two more minutes to cum once he started fucking my pretty little mouth.

After dragging myself home I decided never to suck cock for that long, when I'm that drunk, ever again.  The insides of my lips were bleeding since I had rubbed them raw on my teeth.  I couldn't shut my mouth for hours afterwards because of the intense lockjaw.  My face hurt for a week.  I had intense hand cramps for a few days and my knees looked like pulverized slabs of meat.

Considering the fact that not only was I the only one to ever drive to his place or pay for beer.. Mr. Valium never offered to pay or do anything.. I would say this is a pretty embarrassing story about what a stupid brand-new 21 year old I was.  Now I at least make them buy me one beer.  Unless they're too hot to pass up.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Dear Mom & Dad,

     I know this blog might surprise you, maybe.  It probably shouldn't though.  You both brought me up extremely open-minded.  I can't even count all the times I've walked in on you two having sex over the years.  You are the ones who introduced me to the concept of public sex and doggie style.  If you think I'm going to be ashamed about my sexual exploits and activities I think you'll be sadly disappointed.  The only reason I'd ever be sorry for any of this is if somehow my grandparents (more specifically, your parents, dad) discovered this blog and died of a heart attack from it.  You should be proud of me, I think.
     Don't worry guys, I'm being safe and I have yet to get any STDs.  I'm not saying I'm going to get an STD in the future, but let's face it, even monogamous couples have a fairly high chance of contracting something at some point.  If I do get something I'm sure I'll blog about it, though.
     Do I care if my face gets plastered all over the internet sucking cock? Not really, I'm proud of my abilities and found out a while ago that Mike uploaded just such a video to a site that can't ever take it down without letting me know.  I forgave him because it turned me on.  I am remaining anonymous to the public due to stalker potential, but I don't care if anyone I personally know stumbles upon it.  If an employer finds out, well, you know my career path and you know that in my line of work and the companies I aim at working for it might just help more than hurt.  If such videos would hurt my career I would want to switch career fields anyway.  If I have kids someday that find these things out about me, well chances are we would have had the talk already and they'd know a good portion of all this beforehand.  I would hope I could raise my children to be open-minded as you did for me.
     I know this all may be somewhat shocking, but I'm confident that once you both sit down and logically think this through you'll realize that yes, I am an adult, and I am taking full responsibility for my actions and have thoroughly thought this through.  Since I'm pretty sure at some point there was a bit of infidelity on mom's side of the fence a great while ago maybe you'll be jealous that I'm so open in my relationship.
     A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.. a woman's gotta do what turns her on.

Love you both, and remember, you'll still probably get grand children, I'm not a complete lesbian.  Only about 25%.


A baby erotic massage? Check the source that shit is hilarious!