MyOwnRelationship.

So after starting this venture into "coming out" to the online community complete with videos, pictures, and dates.. the most asked question I've gotten is simple: "So.. how does your open relationship work, how open are you?"

source

Apparently, most open couples, or at least the ones I've talked to and heard about, establish rules and boundaries?  I'm not trying to imply that these don't exist for me and Mike, but.. in a way they don't.  I figured that the entire purpose of opening the relationship was trust and to experience things outside of our relationship to enhance said relationship.

Let me give you some examples:
Some women have a rule that their men are only allowed to sleep with other women that are not as hot as they are.
I really don't see the point in this.  There is no way I would ever delude myself into thinking that I'm the hottest thing on the planet.  If my man only slept with ugly women then really, what would the point be other than the simple "something different"?  I want him to sleep with women that are more attractive than myself.  More to the point: I want him to experience life completely and do/fuck whatever makes him happy.  If attraction level meant everything then he'd leave me for a hottie anyway.  Besides, I don't care how hot they are, I give the best blowjobs on the planet.

Sometimes there is a rule like, "no dating, just sex".
That just feels skeezy.  Also the best way to get an STD.  I don't want to just fuck the guys I see, I want to be able to hang out with them, have a few laughs, and get to know them.  As far as Mike goes, well I honestly wouldn't want him to fuck any women that don't need a little romancing to get into their pants.  Then I know he'd be getting some sort of disease.  I want him to be friends with his women.  Or at least for them to know each other more than nakedly.

Do my feelings and reasons mean that I never feel jealousy?  No.  I'm a woman.  Women are irrational, emotional, bitchy, illogical, etc.  Sometimes I feel jealous, but I talk to Mike about it, he explains himself or his feelings, and then everything is fine.  In the end, it's not what he does with other people, it's the implied feelings behind his actions that sometimes makes me jealous.  Men are different than women though, they were brought up being told to romance their way into sex, women were brought up knowing all they have to do is spread their legs.

You know that great feeling when you first start dating someone?  The little gestures mean so much, you get/give flowers to make the other person feel special.  People aren't blunt when dating and trying to get laid.  Both sexes imply things that aren't true, or things that they only think are true.  Flowers do not equal love, and actually nothing a guy does action-wise means love unless he flat out says, "I love you."  Dating is like playing house as children, acting to inspire shallow feelings.  I know that Mike would never tell another women he loves her before talking to me about it.  He would buy them flowers.. but you know what?  He loves me and buys me flowers more than he ever did before we were open.  Not because he feels guilty, simply because doing little things for other people reminds him that I like it too and he loves me.

I have/am learning to not overthink actions and what happens with other people as we enter this new territory.  I know that even if he does something romantic for another person it doesn't mean anything more than that he wants them to feel good, which I don't have a problem with.  I don't feel the need to read his messages or oversee his relationships, I trust him to tell me about anything that he considers important.  Also.. I've come to learn that men have some irrational attachments to "romantic" actions as well, which I think is hilarious.

Here are things he thinks are romantic that I do not.. seeing as it comes so naturally to me:
Pet names like sweetie, hun, baby
Taking naps with other people
Giving massages
Kissing without tongue
Kissing on the forehead
Hugs from behind while they're sitting somewhere

I didn't think twice about some of these until he brought up how he felt about it.  Even though he knows I don't have any feelings for any other man deeper than friendship and companionship it would still bother him.  So I don't do them.  Some of them anyway, because he has come to realize how little some of them mean after feeling the desire to do a couple himself with other woman.  Talking mostly about the pet name thing.

Like any other relationship, communication is key.

We don't really have any rules.  We both know what would bother each of us, but at the same time we also acknowledge that no one can control or monitor this kind of stuff without going crazy.  Just trust each other and love each other.  That way if something happens that the other person may not like it doesn't seem as big of a deal, and is in no way a deal-breaker.  Which makes being honest a helluva lot easier.  It seems silly to have rules and boundaries when the goal is to "open" a relationship.

I may do more posts later to go into more detail, maybe describe some fights we've had or issues, but it's really difficult to put into words what we feel for each other.

Bonus:  motivation to keep yourself fit and looking good, both of us take good care of ourselves knowing we have to impress others outside the relationship.

To Shave or Not To Shave? What I prefer when going down.

source

First, let me just say that this entire post was inspired by a Dude Society poll - Chick Poll:Manscaping.  Now as shown in this poll apparently most women voted to leave some hair but trim it down.  They didn't really specify location or length though did they?  I mean, all hair growth is different and a style that works on one guy definitely doesn't work on all.

Now let me just state that my overall preference on any man is probably bare shaven.  Of course, ingrown hairs are unattractive so this assumes the guy in question has been doing it long enough to become accustomed to it.  I figured men might want to know, specifically, the problems with hair down there from a girl who goes down a lot.

Small cock? Shave it all.. it will look bigger.

Now here are some general rules I tell my guys about:
1)  Hair Smells.
That's right, hair retains smell and dirt like nothing else.  Even one day of sweat can stink up a body area if you have lots of hair there.  If you want someone sticking their face down there you'll have a lot less to worry about if you're shaven (that goes for women too).  I have a stupid sensitive nose and yeah, it can bother me.  And guys, please make sure to take a shower after shaving, loose, recently cut, hair that gets in my mouth will turn me off.
2)  Hair is in no way Fair.
Unfortunately, the hair type that is the easiest to keep unshaven is also one of the only hair/body types to look most natural once shaven.  Sparse, light-colored, or just thin hair doesn't really retain smell or bother the senses as much as the thicker brillo bushes.  So guys with pubicLite can go without maintenance.  It also looks weird for a yeti to have that one bald spot in the middle of his forest.  Not really any help for it.
3)  The Pole is Important.
Seriously, shave your cock.  That is the one area that, I don't care if you like hairy guys, if you like sucking cock you don't want to feel those stray hairs in your mouth while gliding up and down the shaft.  Always try to keep this area bare.  Some guys have naturally hairless cocks, so you guys shut up and just trust me when I tell you that not all men do.
4)  If not Bare than Buzz.
Don't want to shave your cock and bikini area bare? Have a fear of razors? That's FINE.  At least take a beard trimmer and shave it down short though.  It will cut down on aroma.  Not too short, stubble doesn't really feel that great when riding, humping, sucking, etc.  I'd say about 1/4 of an inch though.  Of course this length will change, and all men should experiment.  Basically your goal is to shorten as much as you can before the hair starts feeling really rough on the skin.  You can always combine, shave your balls and cock then buzz the rest, it will give it a more natural flow into your upper leg hair if you have any.
5)  Feel free to go front to back.
I just have to include this.  If you like having your ass played with AT ALL, please, please shave it.  No, I don't mean the cheeks, I mean get down there in your ass crack and get rid of those hairs.  Shave your hole.  Do your taint too while you're at it.  As I've stated many times, hair retains smell BADLY.  And sir, that area's stink wont come off without a good bleaching.
6)  If you want your balls sucked, shave them.
No explanation needed, right?

Easy and simple rules that some guys may not be aware of.  Also, if you need shaving tricks the Dude Society also has one on Manscaping Downtown!

Thank you, have a great Friday!

Fun but not quite Fantastic

Although fun, I have to say that bringing in a stranger for a one night stand can lead to awkward feelings without alcoholic help.

First, the guy showed up late.. not a fan.  We were both already so nervous that the wait really hurt more than helped.  He decided that he wanted my husband, Michael, to get dressed up after he got here, so not only did my husband have to sit here nervous, but he also had to go and get dressed while I sucked the cock of this strange guy in the living room.  The guy who showed up was also drunk off his ass.

Don't get me wrong, it was still fun and a very interesting experience..but I think it may be better in the future to either skip the intro and get down to the dirty sex right away or to do it with someone we know.  First I sucked this guy's cock while my husband got dressed up in the bathroom.   It was a pretty nice cock.. honestly I was a little drunk and don't remember it too well.  But then my husband came out all dressed up.  Touching ensued, he grabbed my husband's ass and felt him up while I sucked his cock.  The guy was so drunk that it took him way too long to cum.  When he did it was unimpressive.  My husband got off watching me suck his cock.  I didn't get off.. just wasn't feeling the guy, too ... ugh.

Ok, actually it has taken me so long to post because it really wasn't all that entertaining.  I mean, it was an experience.. and me and my husband had some really hot sex after the guy left.. but in the end I think if we try to bring in a stranger from CL again we're going to have to approach it much differently.

Besides, I'm pretty sure we are getting someone else to entertain us with.  Yes, i backdated this post, so what? only by two days.. and it's been so long because in the last 24 hours I have given a total of 6 blowjobs, all amazing, and I'm too excited to post about THAT.